You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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