dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
