i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
