but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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