i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Everything about him screamed your future.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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