We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
