Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
