Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
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