True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize