ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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