Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
