it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
