We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
