i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
