You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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