just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
