i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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