I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
