I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
