We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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