I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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