I could make wine with my vomit
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
