You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I am mentally ready for anal.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
