you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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