Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
