Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
