Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
