Pappa wants mamma naked
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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