I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
