i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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