do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
