Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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