He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
