Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize