my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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