What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
