So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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