Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
