Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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