Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
