Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
