I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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