the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
And then he peed in my hair
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
