We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
