Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
