i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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