Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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