Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
there's paper in my vomit.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
