handjob tips. give me some.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
