oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
