It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
