sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Randomize
