Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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