just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
