STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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