Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
