There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
