My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
