im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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