Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
