Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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