he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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