i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
