Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
