Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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