i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
