am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
