I want you more than these girls want KFC
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
