So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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