Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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