i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
