She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
