I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
